Adrian's Friday Reflections

A friend of mine is a season ticket holder at a London football club and recently, kindly, invited me to watch them play my (non-London) club. It was a good match with goals scored and a raucous crowd providing a great atmosphere and plenty of laughs – if you can catch the song lyrics and are not worried by swearing. I was clearly an interloper in the home fans section, so I did not wear any colours or clothes that would give that away and was comfortable that outlandish celebration of an away goal would not be excepted. Good right?

For the most part, yes. In the mad rush and crush to get into the ground before kick off we somehow ended up in the wrong row. One lovely gentleman kindly mentioned at the top of his voice “you better not be one of those f_ _ _ c_ _ _ who support that other team, you will get f_ _ _ smashed here if you are, you c_ _ _”. Given I had not opened my mouth and certainly not spoken to the kind man I found this somewhat presumptuous. There is a distinctive accent associated with local fans of my team, which I don’t have given that I grew up in Australia before moving to London. I was not sure politely replying that I was not from that part of the country would have won the day, so we quickly moved to find our actual seats. All good.

Tribalism in sport is nothing new to me. I am a huge (some have said fanatical) fan of Australian Rules Football. My own father once refused to sit with me at the Grand Final, in a crowd of 100,000 at the MCG, lest I embarrass him with my antics. I was 20 at the time, and I have mellowed quite a bit, but the tribalism still remains.

Does this play over into our everyday lives? Does it effect our decision making in areas other than what Saturday entertainment to seek out?

Today a friend of mine, James Campbell, posted an invitation to a interesting networking event … to be held at Stanford Bridge … I found myself wondering if people would be more likely (Chelsea supporters almost certainly), or less likely (fans of other teams) to attend. Why didn’t I immediately say “Yes”? I have been to that ground a few times, there is no football match on, why did I hesitate?

Does this impact decisions we make about investing? It might. My former colleague and friend Justin Newdigate is a master investing psychologist and probably has the answer. As an everyday person how do I avoid this “tribal bias” so that I make the best decisions for my finances. What about other biases?

One of the best ways to address these issues is to have a trusted adviser to talk you through the pro’s and con’s, to lay out the facts objectively and to make independent recommendations for you to consider.

My grandfather passed away on Christmas Day 2023. I am glad that I called him in Australia and effectively said goodbye. His health had been sliding for years and I was not shocked when I saw that he was within hours of passing on. It is strange to reflect on – should I have been more sad? Should I have grieving to do? That is complex not least because the individual himself was complex. I guess we all are and that tends to increase with age.

A boy growing up poor, one of nine children, in rural Victoria then latterly rural Tasmania ninety-seven years ago lived a starkly different life to that of my son, currently nine, growing up in London. No Nintendo Switch back then. No regular visits to the Natural History Museum. No Pokémon cards. No television.

My grandfather worked all sorts of jobs as a young man, beginning in the shady world of SP bookmaking as a “runner” for his older brother, before being a travelling tailor and Kodak salesman, then joining the Airforce during WW2. He learned accounting (his only real formal training of any sort) and somehow managed to get a job as an auditor of the various Airforce bases around the country. He always managed to time his work so that he was in a sunny climate apparently.

I won’t recount his whole life story because the point is that I never ever saw him sad. He was always an optimist and “life is what you make of it” type of person. He told many tales, some of them loose on verifiable facts, but always to make you laugh. He had a great love for his own mother, whom I met, but fractious relationships with his siblings. “Laila would die tomorrow if I paid for her funeral” was one of his colourful outbursts about his frugal sister.

I guess it is hard to be sad about someone who squeezed every bit of life out of his 97 years.

When I work with my clients we need to have difficult conversations from time to time. Some clients are far less fortunate than others and a good listener is who they need by their side. No matter what the circumstances, no matter what the financial plan looks like, there is always cause for optimism and happiness because life really is what you make of it.

My son is lucky to have a grandparent in the UK and grandparents in Australia. Those overseas get FaceTime calls and Christmas cards but only see him once or rarely twice a year. But it is always a special time for them all.

I have very fond memories of the weekly family dinner, my sister and I playing cards with Pa Wally & Nana Jean after the meal. We graduated from 500 to Solo to Bridge over the course of many years, every Tuesday night. We learned many things, often subtle and unintentional but important. Humility, caring for other people, and listening to wiser minds to name a few.

When we work with clients, particularly those with new grandchildren, after a lot of initial effort to get finances in order, we always turn to questions like: “How would you like to be involved with your grandchildren?” and “Are there places or experiences that you want to share with them?”.

These open the discussion to all manner of ideas, often way beyond leaving money, that have clients excited and usually smiling broadly as they relate an anecdote or two. The cheeky grandchild seems to be a fixture of modern families!

My son’s grandparents arrived at our house this morning, visiting from Australia. Their nine year old chaperone is taking them around town whilst I reflect on my wonderful times with my grandparents.

“I’m stressed out man” is a quote that I cannot quite attribute, but it likely came to me from one of the many 80’s movies I consumed whilst working my weekend video store job during university.

Stress is a serious indicator of poor health outcomes, both mental and physical. I thought I was having a particularly stressful week as I tried to “clear the decks” before going on Easter vacation, until a prospective client called seeking someone to help him.

I can’t go into specific details, but suffice to say this gentleman has four big decisions about to hit him one after the other:

1. His mortgage is about to roll off a very low rate on to something unseen in a long time, about six times what he is paying now – what does he do?
2. His employer is asking him to re-apply for his job and he has to weigh up Contracting vs PAYE – which makes the most sense?
3. His partner has been through a severe mental health episode and they have to decide whether to commence legal proceedings – is it worth it?
4. He is being pressure by a salesman to invest his ISA allowance into an investment scheme before Saturday – should he just do it?

Stress is real, but it is also relative. That this man reached out for help in the face of all this, and more, is so courageous. We will help him, regardless of whether he ever becomes a client.

When I said to him that I felt he needed some time to step back from all this and maybe attack each in turn, he agreed, and we started on number 4 right then.

Do not allow yourself to be pressured into an investment decision, ever. Many people have been rushing to “get their ISAs done” this week (me too!), but that is not really an investment decision. It is a “taking advantage of a tax wrapper” decision and certainly not life and death.

If you are feeling stressed – please get help. If your finances are stressing you, please reach out to an independent financial adviser.

Maybe even turn off the digital stuff for a day or two!