What does money mean to you? Is it about security? Freedom? Control? Or is it a source of stress, fear, or shame? Everyone has a unique relationship with money and for most of us, that relationship starts in childhood. 

In this blog, I reflect on my personal story and how my upbringing shaped my financial philosophy. More importantly, I’ll help you explore your own relationship with money and how to move toward a more empowered and intentional financial future. 

A Personal Journey: From Comfort to Crisis

I grew up in Melbourne in a financially stable, middle-class household. My father had a strong career and my brothers and I attended private school. Life was comfortable, until it wasn’t. 

In 1991, my father was made redundant. My parents opened a bookshop to support our family, but the venture struggled. We sold our home, moved to rented accommodation and for the first time, money became a constant source of tension. 

Even when things improved temporarily, another downturn, like the 2008 market crash, reminded us that financial stability is fragile when unplanned. This experience deeply shaped my views on money, planning and the emotional weight tied to financial decisions. 

Why Your Money Story Matters

Many of us inherit beliefs and behaviours from our parents. As we grow older, our financial identity is shaped by childhood experience, societal influence and emotional imprinting. 

According to a 2018 study in the Children and Youth Services Review, financial literacy among young people correlates with how often money is discussed at home. If you’re a parent, talking about money matters more than you think. 

Tip: Children don’t always follow what we say, but they always observe what we do. 

Understanding Financial Emotions

A Forbes article by Prudy Gourguechon outlined the four key emotions connected to money: 

• Fear 

• Guilt 

• Shame 

• Envy 

Shame is the most paralyzing; it often causes people to avoid financial planning entirely. 

Common examples: 

• “I avoid thinking about money.” 

• “I’m ashamed I haven’t saved.” 

• “I buy things when I feel down.” 

These emotional patterns shape spending and saving habits, but they’re not permanent. Your past is a starting point, not a life sentence. 

Self-Assessment: Your Money Mindset Quiz

Answer each question from 1 (low) to 5 (high): 

1. Growing up, how well-off did your family feel? 

1. Compared to your peers, how wealthy did your family seem? 

1. Were you aware of money-related tension between your parents? 

1. How do you manage credit card debt? 

1. How do you manage your current account? 

1. Are you disorganised in your personal/work life? 

Scoring Interpretation: 

• Mostly 1–2: Conservative spender – strong discipline; this book will help you build a robust plan. 

• Mostly 2–3: At risk of overspending – this will help bring structure. 

• Mostly 4–5: Likely to spend freely – this book can help shift habits and reframe your mindset. 

Bring Your Partner Along

Money is a relationship issue as much as it is a personal one. Financial arguments are among the most common in long-term relationships. 

Example: When applying for a visa to move to Australia, the government didn’t care about our wedding certificate, they cared about financial history shared between us. 

Take Action: 

• Share this article with your partner 

• Complete the quiz together 

• Discuss the emotional roots of your money habits 

Remember, your partner’s story is different from yours but starting that conversation can lead to growth. 

The Real Goal: Control, Not Just Cash

We often believe that more money will solve our problems. But as Kurt Cobain famously said: “You can’t buy happiness.” 

The key is financial control, not just having money, but knowing how to manage it. 

A robust financial plan doesn’t just protect wealth, it builds peace of mind, resilience and a sense of direction. 

Your Financial Future Starts with Awareness

Now that you have a clearer sense of how your financial attitudes were shaped, it’s time to look forward. As Antoine de Saint-Exupéry wrote: 

“If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up the men to gather wood… instead, teach them to yearn for the vast and endless sea.” 

You don’t change your habits by force; you do it by connecting them to something greater. Whether it’s family, freedom or legacy, your financial plan should reflect what you care most about. 

Book a 15-minute, no-obligation call 

FAQs

Q: Why does my childhood influence how I view money today?
A: Early experiences shape emotional beliefs about spending, saving and security, often subconsciously. 

Q: What are the most common emotions associated with money?
A: Fear, guilt, shame and envy; all of which impact financial decisions. 

Q: How can I talk to my partner about money more openly?
A: Start by sharing personal stories and completing reflection exercises together; understanding builds alignment. 

Q: Can financial attitudes be changed?
A: Absolutely, awareness and structured planning help reframe unhealthy habits and build confidence. 

Adam Walkom